


❝Those damned hyacinths.❞

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Character Death, Flowers, Hanahaki Disease, Mentioned Akaashi Keiji, Sad, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:48:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26793145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Falling in love with your best friend would definitely not be painful, right?Or so you thought.Painful but in the most beautiful way. Painful but ethereal, just like your best friend Akaashi Keiji.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Reader
Comments: 6
Kudos: 50





	❝Those damned hyacinths.❞

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, thank you for choosing my imagine. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> -Sam.

_February 1._

Mornings were the _**favorite**_ part of your day. There can be nothing more pleasant and ephemeral to your senses than the sunrise. At the exact moment, the golden rays of the sun give a bright dash of color to the clouds, meadows, mountains, and valleys. 

And why were they your favorite? Mornings were one of the only times of the day where you spent your time alone with your best friend of ten years, _**Akaashi Keiji.**_

Keiji was one of a kind—maybe that was because you were secretly in love with him, but you couldn’t agree more with that fact when you saw him every single morning. 

“Keiji! Wait up!”

The way he’d turn around and look at you every morning made you question if he was even **_real_**. A small breeze would pass by his midnight hair and the golden rays of the sun would always _**perfectly**_ fall on his features. His gun-metal eyes would shine a tiny bit, and he’d smile so softly that it would make your heart **_throb_**. And the chirping of the sparrows would make the situation ten times more ethereal. 

“Good morning, [Y/N],” he softly says, as you smile at him. You adjust your glasses and begin a conversation—just like every morning. His faint smile would linger on for a minute or two, then it’d wear off as the two of you reached the school. 

“I’ll talk to you at lunch, [Y/N],” Akaashi concurred as you waved slightly, walking away. He stood there for a moment, making sure you’re inside before going to his homeroom. 

You sat in your assigned seat, looking out the window as the students in your class conversed among themselves. You **_never_** felt the need to make more friends—simply because you didn’t need any. You had Akaashi, and basically the whole volleyball team. And whenever there was a group project, you’d pair up with the smart kids of the class. 

The sun was high in the sky now, and the chirping of the sparrows had become quieter than the early morning. There were still a few strokes of pink and orange in the sky, and you fixated your gaze on the harbor-gray clouds. 

And then, it happened. You **_coughed_**. 

And a purple petal fell out of your mouth and onto your hand. 

You didn’t notice it at first, but after a fellow classmate pointed it out, you were **_shocked_**. You saw the lining of your saliva on the petal, and your eyes widened in fear. 

_**You had the Hanahaki Disease.** _

You raised your hand, asking the teacher to excuse you from class, and left. You rushed past Keiji’s class and ended up in the restroom—staring at your dismal reflection. You cleaned the petal with a handkerchief and looked at it in curiosity; what type of flower was it? And why did you have a fictional disease?

You gasped. It was a Hyacinth petal—and just the other day, your mother had told you something particular about them. 

They signified sorrow and constancy. But why constancy? You thought. 

That’s when it clicked—Akaashi Keiji wasn’t **_just_** a mere crush. You were head over heels for the diaphanous boy. The flower symbolized your constant friendship of ten years, and sorrow because he didn’t love you back. 

**_That epiphany might as well have ruined your friendship._ **

***

Three months passed. 

You soon learned—after much research on fan-based websites, that you had around six months to live after the disease is initially transmitted. So now, you had exactly three months left. 

Today was the first of May, which meant that you and Akaashi were going to watch a movie with the volleyball team. 

_Akaashi_ 🏐💙 _: Are you ready, [Y/N]? I’m in your living room, your mom let me in._

_You: Yes, I’m almost done. I’ll be downstairs in a minute :)_

You looked at yourself in the mirror and smiled slightly. You looked great—it didn’t feel like you were putting in much effort into your outfit, and it didn’t look completely reckless either. It felt just right. 

You wore a white v-neck shirt that was tucked into black ripped jeans and a long-sleeved denim jacket over the shirt. Your hair was styled just the way you wanted it to be and a blush was spread across your features. You ran your hand over your hair, making sure you look good. 

_You: Alright, I’m coming down._

_Akaashi_ 🏐💙 _: Looking forward to it :)_

You slowly walked down the stairs, coughing slightly. A white hyacinth petal fell into your palm, and you looked at it with **_distaste_** in your eyes. How were you supposed to tell your best friend that you were in love with him? How were you supposed to ruin a perfectly good friendship of ten years? How could you do that to Keiji?

You were so lost in thought, you didn’t notice the boy in front of you. And when you finally did notice, you were shocked. 

He looked different than usual. He wore his reading glasses, a black shirt that clung to him for dear life, and white pants. Funny thing is, Akaashi wore a scarf too. 

“You _actually_ wore it,” you chuckled, shaking your head. You had gifted him the scarf for good luck during his volleyball match last year—and he had laughed it off. 

“Yes, I thought I could _maybe_ change some things up. You look beautiful, by the way,” he mumbled as the two of you walked outside. The theater wasn’t that far. You only had to catch a train and travel two stations towards the west. 

“Why, thank you,” you blushed, and looked away as you felt another cough coming in. You covered your mouth as you coughed out a hyacinth bulb. Your eyes widened as you quickly placed it in the pocket of your jacket. 

_**Hyacinth bulbs are known to be poisonous.** _

***

“KONOHA! Look, [L/N]-san is here with Akaashi!” you heard Bokuto’s ebullient voice yell, as you neared the movie theater. 

“Bokuto-san!!” you exclaimed as he hugged you tightly, “[L/N]-san, you didn’t come to practice yesterday!”

“I’m so sorry, I had a lot of English homework! I’ll make sure to come on Monday though,” you replied as Akaashi stood beside you. You didn’t know then, but a **_blush_** resided itself on his cheeks. 

His anchor-blue eyes fell on the bud falling from your pocket. He furrowed his eyes as he picked it up, and gave it to you, “You dropped this.”

Your widened eyes made him even more confused. ** _Why would you be scared of a mere flower bud?_**

“Ah, that must’ve been from my mother’s garden,” you lied, and Akaashi could very well tell that you weren’t being truthful. He shook the feeling away as the group made its way into the movie theater. Bokuto had fallen asleep on Konoha’s shoulder half-way into the movie, and Sarukui kept placing pieces of popcorn in Bokuto’s hair as a prank when you pointed it out to Keiji. 

“Poor Bokuto-san,” you whispered. Akaashi chuckled slightly as he asked, “ _Actually_ , I’m a bit sleepy as well. Would you mind?" 

He pointed to your shoulder when you shook your head. How would you say no to him? He placed his head on your shoulder softly after removing his glasses. You smiled at him, but you couldn’t notice his focused eyes fixated on you. 

"Get comfortable,” you whispered, as a blush stroked your cheeks. Akaashi interlocked his fingers with yours, as your heartbeat began picking up the pace. You let out a shaky breath as you looked at the hand questioningly. 

After a minute or two, after you thought Akaashi had fallen asleep, you let out a small cough. A cerulean hyacinth flower landed on your palm this time. You sighed, placing it in your pocket. 

**_What you didn’t know, was that Akaashi had his eyes wide open._ **

***

_July 25._

The day of the festival. You and the volleyball team were going together. But what you were really looking forward to was Akaashi. 

You **_had_** to tell him sooner or later. The disease was supposedly fictional, so you couldn’t find a doctor who performs surgical treatment. And even if it were real, you knew your parents couldn’t afford the surgery because it would be **_very_** expensive.

You sighed as you wore your white kimono—and then a haori which had a snowflake pattern on it. You smiled when your mother told you that you looked beautiful. 

“Bye, mom!” you exclaimed, leaving the house. You were about to ring Akaashi’s bell when the door opened and he walked into you. 

_“Ow!"_

"I’m so sorry, [Y/N], are you okay?” he asked, placing a hand on your shoulder. You looked up at him in awe. He looked so **_beautiful_** in traditional clothing—it wasn’t even fair at this point. His black kimono complimented the navy haori and with the white border, he looked even more majestic. 

If only he loved you. 

**_If only._ **

“You look… amazing,” he muttered, blushing a bit as he rubbed the back of his neck. A bed of roses developed beneath your cheeks, as you looked away from his face. 

The moonlight fell on his face **_perfectly_** as he smiled at you. His anchor-blue eyes looking into your [E/C] ones like time had **_stopped_**. You **_knew_** the clock was ticking inside. Where would you end up anyway? You’d be dead in a week or two. You just wanted him to calm you with caresses. You wanted to die in his arms. 

**_Christ_** , he was beautiful. You would’ve lost control then and there if he hadn’t taken your hand in his. You would’ve kissed him or confessed if he hadn’t begun walking towards the bus station. It would’ve been such a **_propitious_** moment. 

“The fireworks will start in about 30 minutes, so all of us will go in pairs and buy food, okay?” Sarukui raised his eyebrows, and everyone nodded. 

Akaashi grabbed your hand as quickly as possible, leading you towards the Nanohana and Udon noodles stalls. You chuckled softly, knowing that Nanohana with Karashi dressing was his favorite food. 

You stood in line for the noodles as the raven-haired boy stood in line for the broccolini salad. After buying the food, Akaashi and you reunited with the group. 

After settling down next to Akaashi on the picnic blanket, you looked up to see a light blue light shooting up towards the sky—then bursting into different shades of blue in the inky night sky. You smiled slightly as you felt Akaashi’s hand on yours. 

The fireworks are chaos and unpredictability—their explosive gifts finding their own time and space to own. As they do, **_you_** were the spectator, the one seeing their blazing trails arc above. There’s something about them that warms you even in the cold as if their stray sparks _**passed**_ into your blood. 

But just then, the burn in your throat **_ruined_** it all. Due to the poison, you had been spitting out blood with the flowers. Sometimes they’d be a shade of azure, sometimes lilac or pearly-white petals would be lined with vermillion liquid. It would be so beautiful if you weren’t dying. 

You found it hard to breathe. 

You stood up in the middle of the show, running away to find a bathroom somewhere so you could spit out the small flowers in your mouth. The buds came in bigger numbers nowadays too, and the metallic taste in your mouth let you know that blood was present as well.

 ** _Damn it_** , you thought. 

Spitting out the blood along with the petals and buds, you looked at yourself in the mirror. Everything tonight was _**supposed**_ to be perfect.

But only it wasn’t. You hated yourself so much. 

How could you leave him like that? How could you leave him alone forever? You couldn’t even relish the felicity you were experiencing for one night—no, the stupid disease **_had_** to interfere. 

You sighed. 

Wasn’t it **_ironic_**? Death is considered to be the most **_painful_** and **_ugly_** truth out there, but this disease. **_Oh, this disease._**

It turned the **_ugliest_** truth into the most beautiful, the most **_painful_** way to leave this world. 

You chuckled at your miserable state. You’d be gone in a few weeks and no one would know that you were dying from a stupid fictional disease. And your parents?

 ** _Oh_** , your innocent parents. They didn’t even know that you were sick. You had coughed in front of your mother a couple of times, but you just made an excuse saying your nose was stuffy. You clicked your tongue in disappointment. Your furtive nature was going to get you killed. 

When you walked out, the show was over. 

_You: Hey, I’m going to head home. Is that okay?_

_Akaashi_ 🏐💙 _: You okay? You left in a hurry. Want me to drop you?_

_You: Nah, I just ate something funny in the morning. Just puked my guts out._

_Akaashi_ 🏐💙 _: Hang in there._

_You: Goodbye Keiji._

You couldn’t tell him. Your lies had gotten the best of you. And you would die, along with your shallow secrets and your disease. You sighed as you walked to the bus station, a downcasting gaze sitting across your features. And just when you were about to sit down, Akaashi’s evanescent figure came to light. 

“What are _you_ doing here?” you raised an eyebrow. You felt a burn in your throat that signaled a cough—quickly you brought your handkerchief to your mouth, spitting the rouge liquid and the hyacinth bulb onto it. 

“How long?” he panted, handing you a bag of food and seating himself next to you. You swallowed excessively, biting your lip slightly when you couldn’t understand what he was saying. 

“The _Hanahaki_ disease,” he mumbled. His expression not changing at your denouement. Your eyes widened as you stopped moving. 

**_He knew all along._ **

“H-how do _you_ know?” you questioned, your eyes bled with sea salt. You squeezed them shut, just trying to stop the sinking feeling.

You were swimming, but there were rocks tied to your feet. No matter **_how_** hard you tried to stay at the surface, you just couldn’t.

 ** _Just a little more_** , you thought. 

“I know from the time at the movies a couple of months ago,” he lamented. His emollient hand reached for yours and the two of you intertwined your fingers together. You were **_barely_** hanging on by a thread, as you coughed again. Every day, it was harder to breathe. 

“Can you tell me _who_ it is?” Akaashi asked. But in his heart, he was begging you to tell him. His glassy orbs were threatening to create a waterfall, and he wanted to just hold onto you and not let go. 

His forbearance was making him weaker by the second. He was going to break out at any moment. 

“I-I… can’t,” you muttered. He stammered for a reply, “Just tell me. I’ll _get_ them to talk to you, please. I-I can’t lose you. Not now. _Please_.”

“Akaashi-san, stay strong for me, please?”

“ _Don’t_ call me that!” he raised the intensity of his voice. It echoed now, that no one was present on the road, “I’m about to lose one of the _most_ important people in my life. You can’t treat me with this stupid respect of yours. You’ve never called me ‘Akaashi-san’ in your life, so why now?!”

_“K-Keiji…”_

“No! I'm **_not_** going to lose you. Not now, not ever. Just tell me who it is!” he yelled. His heart was broken. He **_couldn’t_** lose his best friend. He couldn't lose the person he cheated on his first test with. He couldn't lose the person he learned to ride the bike with. He couldn't lose the person who introduced him to volleyball. He couldn't lose the person who always celebrated his birthday with his favorite food and drink. He couldn’t lose you. 

He couldn’t lose you. 

**_Not now, not ever._ **

**_Damn you_** , he thought. You shouldn’t be leaving him. It shouldn’t have to be you. 

The sea-drops flowed freely from his eyes as he looked down. He couldn’t meet your gaze—not when he had just broken down in front of you. He brought a hand up to his eyes, not wanting you to see the tears.

_“Keiji.”_

_“Keiji, look at me.”_

His anchor-blue eyes met yours, and you smiled softly. You brought a frail hand up to his face, wiping away the drops of tears. You hugged him softly as you spoke once again, “You are _so_ strong, Keiji. Don’t miss me too much, okay?”

“Please… _d-don’t_.”

“Keiji, listen to me. I have _hardly_ a week left,” you choked out a sob, not wanting to continue the sentence. But you did anyway, not losing the smile plastered across your face. Your glassy eyes looked into his, as you continued speaking, “But I have to tell you a few things before I leave, okay? Now listen. You’re so _fucking_ beautiful, Akaashi Keiji.”

He chuckled. 

“Your eyes, they look like the ocean. I know I’m being a bit cringy right now, but just… listen to me. You’ve been an _amazing_ friend to me for the past ten years. I know I told you not to miss me too much, but Keiji, I will be missing you. One day, you’ll find someone who loves you just as much as I do. Okay? So just… _try_ to forget about me after I’m gone.”

_**He couldn’t.** _

Of course, he couldn’t. Why would you even speak such poison coated words? How could he forget you when the most beautiful thing in his life was the friendship you two shared?

And just when you were boarding the bus, you asked, “The moon is _sure_ beautiful tonight, isn’t it?”

***

One week later, you had trouble breathing. You couldn’t go to school, and you were bed-ridden. You told your mother that you came across a bad case of the flu. 

Two days later, you laid in the arms of Akaashi Keiji. 

“Just tell me who it was, _please_. You're really sick,” he muttered, holding you as you spat out a bunch of hyacinths into a shoebox. 

The shoebox was filled with so many flowers at this point. You had been collecting the flowers for three months or so. You had told him to bury these flowers with you—you had said that these flowers were a sign of the person you loved and he had replied with, “Whoever caused this disease to you _doesn’t_ deserve to live.”

“Keiji, I told you, already. I _can’t_ ,” you whispered, bringing a fragile hand up to his cheek to caress it. You were **_just_** a heartbroken soul, and you couldn’t do that to Keiji. He’d beat himself up when you were gone. 

“Screw that, just tell me _already_. I won’t even try to convince them. Just tell me who it is. _Please_ ,” he mumbled, looking away from your frail body. You coughed, spitting out another bunch of flowers. And then, the metallic taste reappeared as you spat the vermillion liquid out as well. 

“You can figure it out yourself when I’m gone,” you chuckled, getting up slowly. You grabbed the bottle of water as he clutched onto the shoebox. 

“Wait a minute, remember that day when your mom was teaching us about the flowers?” Akaashi questioned, raising an eyebrow as he pressed his thulian lips together.

“Uh yeah?” you nodded as you sipped the water. He stayed silent for a moment, then asked, “Aren’t these _hyacinths_?" 

"Yes, they are. Why?” you raised an eyebrow. Keiji’s eyes widened in fear as he let go of the box abruptly. His quivering lip raised your suspicion as you furrowed your eyebrows. Erstwhile, **_pure devastation_** spread across your best friend’s features. 

“But I _love_ you,” Keiji spoke, his voice cracking a bit, “[Y/N], I love you too, so _why_ are you dying?”

“ _What_?” you asked. Your eyes widened; he had figured it out and you didn’t know how, “What makes you think I’m in love with _you_?”

“Because hyacinths symbolize constancy and sorrow.”

“I know that. B-but how’d you know it was _you_?” you asked, as he scooted closer to you. You didn’t move as he placed a soft kiss on your forehead, “The moon looked beautiful that night.”

“I shouldn’t have said it,” you coughed, bringing the shoebox closer to your mouth. After you spat out the buds coated with rouge, Akaashi grabbed onto your shoulder. He hugged you, _**repeatedly**_ muttering two words that broke your heart. 

_“I’m sorry.”_

You choked out a sob as you said, “Hey, Keiji, don’t say that.”

“ _I’m_ the reason you’re dying, and you don’t want me to admit it?” he asked, his voice cracking. 

“It’s a beautiful way to die. I’d rather die loving _you_ than die from cancer, or something.”

“ _Damn_ you,” he mumbled, bringing his calloused hand up to his eyes so he wouldn’t cry. You suddenly found it very hard to breathe. It felt like your throat was closing up as you reached out for him, hugging him tightly. 

“W-what’s happening?” he stuttered, looking at you with desperation. You choked out a sob, as you tried to speak. 

_“It’s.. happening.”_

“What?! No, I-I can’t,” Keiji stammered, but you held onto him for dear life. 

“Listen to me… very closely. I’m dying, okay? Keiji… And I want you here… After I’m gone, I want you… to leave… I want you to tell my mom… that I’m sleeping… I don’t want to worry anyone.”

“What? No! I’m not going to lie to your-”

_“I love you, Akaashi Keiji.”_

***

Two weeks later. 

He did as you said. He left you there, your frail body on the bed. He tucked you in, and he left with the shoebox filled with the flowers from your lungs. 

He told your mother that you were sleeping. 

Your mother found you gone that evening. The **_first_** person she called was Keiji. 

He was crying as he ran over to your house again. It pained him as he lied to your mother. And the funeral. **_Oh_** , the funeral. He couldn’t even attend it. 

And now? He stood in front of the tombstone, **_trying_** to fulfill your wish. You had said that the flowers would remind you of the person you loved. He couldn’t fulfill the wish completely, but he’d leave a couple of flowers. He’d keep the rest. 

_“I miss you.”_

And **_stupidly_** , he waited for a reply. He chuckled at his imbecility, and continued talking, “So um, I dug a little hole, and threw in a couple of those damned hyacinths in there.”

 ** _Evocative_** memories rushed to his mind as he continued, “I, uh… I’m so sorry this happened because of me. I’m sorry you left. I’m sorry that _I_ was the cause.”

_“I wish I was good enough.”_

And just then, he coughed. 

_**A white hyacinth flower fell into his palms.** _

**Author's Note:**

> I know this one was sad, and I'm so grateful that people are reading this because frankly, this is my first work on ao3. But thank you, I tried to give a somewhat "happy yet sad yet wholesome" ending.


End file.
